Slight preachy moment for anyone who struggles generally to write and can't stop fucking around, sit down and do it.
It manifests in different ways for everybody. For me, I either cook, organize some inane shit like my terrabyte of music, answer emails, or I'll eat some cheese or clean my garage. Or I get into the "I'm not good/smart/whatever enough" bullshit. I don't think it's bullshit when I'm in the thick of that storm but as soon as it passes I feel ashamed because it's so easy for me to go there and it's an ugly side of my personality that I wish didn’t exist.
In a way - I think that is all a part of it. I have to get up and punch through it. That's what's been helping me recently. It’s literally a boxing match with the part of myself that wants me to shut down, not create anything and just forget. It's also punching through the brainfry that this country is exacting on everyone but that's another story for another time.
And I'm not saying there are no men who go through this, but I find this mostly happens with women.
It is conditioning that basically tells you sit down and keep quiet. You’re too much this and not enough that. Behave like this. Look like that. Give birth like this and breast feed like that. Age like this. Eat like that.
We are nagged to paralysis THEN death.
It is conditioning you have to just set on fire because it’s trash.
I suspect there are some women on here who are like "yeah, no shit." But for me, that realization was hard won, to be honest, and it took a very long time coming.
by Andrea Ciannavei, Screenwriter (The Mayans, Coppers)