And the big one:
I hear this all the time and it's such a lame cop-out...
please stop saying this right now....
Because you do too much work for other peoples projects all the time for less money than you deserve, and less interesting characters, so you're fine doing all that work to make someone else's dream come true, but aren't willing to do that for yourself?
Please give me a break...
Say that outloud 3 times fast and pay attention to how lame that sounds and how badly you're treating my friend. My friend who is talented and deserves so much more.
Any of this sound familiar?
It's called settling for less than you want, desire and deserve.
It's also called fear
fear of getting everything you dreamed of
fear of getting rejected
fear of failure
but also fear of success
You start making a grocery list of all the ways what you want won't work out for you.
You convince yourself with this list, so it lets you off the hook.
You never have to do the work to get what you want. You start to believe the limiting beliefs others have about you...You start to accept that what the industry has to offer you is all that you deserve and that, my dear is the beginning of a 1000 small deaths.
So, what are we going to do about it?
As part of my Make Your Own Work class as well as the DreamingOutLoud Emotional Type Technique, my clients are exploring the concrete ways they set themselves up for failure.
We're also writing down the daily stories of our lives so that we can switch the story we're telling from
What the industry wants
WHAT YOU WANT....
Let's look at some of Brianna Wiest's most excellent things we do to get in our own way.
Pick one today, the one that resonates the most and write about it.
This is how we change those limiting beliefs:
48 Ways to Get Out Of Your Own Way
by Brianna Wiest
So often in life, our greatest obstacle is ourselves.
It's not that we can't force ourselves to grit our teeth and push through another four hours of work. It's not that we don't know what we should be doing, or how we could better apply ourselves. Self-sabotage happens in small, almost undetectable moments. Our minds breed resistance through repetition: how often we have self-defeating thoughts, or spend time with people who demotivate us, or give up after a temporary setback.
If you want this to be the year that changes your life, this has to be the year that you change yourself. Here, 48 ways to get started:
1. Start dreaming in strategy, not theory. Think about how you could create or accomplish something, not if you could.
2. Stop speaking to people who drain, exhaust, frustrate and fundamentally misunderstand you.
3. Stop trying to awaken, educate, inform or inspire people who do not seek out that kind of counsel on their own. Your efforts will not only be ineffective, they will drain you.
4. Look the monster square in the eye. If you have debt, know the number down to the cent. If you're overweight, know by exactly how much. If you are overspending, know exactly where that money went. If you're underperforming, know exactly what your peers are doing. You're not stuck because you're lazy, you're stuck because you're still in denial.
5. Start reading. One book you read this weekend can help you obtain the knowledge of a person's entire lifetime of work. Imagine if you read another next week, and then another the next.
6. Stop treating the symptoms. The most common ways people mess up their lives are symptoms of deeper traumas, fears and unresolved issues. Realizing this is half the battle.
7. Stop waiting for success to be linear. Instead of being defeated by a setback, stay focused on what the big picture really is.
8. Stop putting effort into spending time with people who consistently make you feel frustrated and uncomfortable. Let them fade into the background until they are gone from your life for good.
9. Stop putting effort into spending time with people who fundamentally do not understand your vision.
10. Start spending as much time as you can with people who have already accomplished the things you want to do.
Now choose one and start writing about ways in which you become an expert at getting in your own way....
If you can do this on your own, great...
If not, if you need a guide to give you a soft landing, consider TheDreamingOutLoud Writers Technique class HERE